Well life around my neck of the woods has certainly been incredibly busy. I've been burying myself in stuff to do so that I have had no opportunity to sit and sulk over the fact that I still remain unemployed....for reasons I am still completely unaware of. Big changes have happened since I last wrote. I've lost touch with quite a few friends which I had at my old private university.

When I started back in 2004, I had quite a few friends but once I left that number quickly dwindled down to a mere five. From those five three left me in the cold...and then there were two. And the last of the two have finally parted ways with me. It makes me feel a little sad sometimes, but I think that it is probably just that we have nothing in common in their minds. I actually spent a whole afternoon speaking with the last friend I had about literature and music...and it seemed like a lovely conversation. But she has since decided to not speak to me again. Naturally I feel like it must have been something I said, but my mom has gone ahead and assured me that it probably was not...and was just her realizing that she had nothing in common with me.

Losing these friends has provided me with a bittersweet closure though. I can't explain it, but now that I have finally been cut off from all those friends at my old university I feel as though I can finally close that chapter of my life and move forward. I cried over a few bad times, but the good times were golden...and I do cherish that university...if for nothing else just the fact that I can say I learned to become an independent person there.

So I forged ahead and buried myself in helping my relatives put together the musical at our church...and have since made friends with all but two of the kids. The kids who never knew I existed are now spotting me out of a crowd and calling my name from down the hallway.

What's probably the most rewarding part of this musical is the fact that I see my mannerisms in the children who are not my friends. One girl (for the sake of this blog we'll call her Nadine) got a part as a narrator along with two other girls and I can see by the way she acts and bears down on herself that she is a lot like I was when I was little. She's mess up on lines and mess up on singing and she'd shake her head and go "oh man, I messed up." and it finally got to her yesterday. She kept messing up the choreography and I could see her face getting rosy and her eyes beginning to glisten. So I turned to her mom and asked her if she was upset and her mom replied, "I think she just wants it to be perfect and she can't do it right now because she's overwhelmed and hasn't had anything to eat..and she's bearing down so hard on herself.." I told her mom that if she needed she was more than welcome to take her daughter off to the side and give her a few minutes and talk to her...so her mom sprang up and rushed to the side of the stage where she exited.

But here's where Nadine's mannerisms and mine split up. She finished the whole song...sang it and danced and put in a whole lot of effort. If I got upset I would have quit and sat down while I collected my thoughts, but she stood through it like a trooper. So when she came back I made a point to go speak to her.

I walked over and sat down in front of her and turned around and asked her if everything was allright. And she replied everything was fine, she just needed something to eat. I nodded and said "Well, I just wanted to tell you that you did really good up there. I appreciate that you stuck it out and finished what you needed before you took spoke with your mom. You do great at this and whatever you can't seem to get right is something you don't need to over worry about, because everything will work out just fine in the end."

I'm not quite sure if that's what Nadine wanted to hear, but she continued through practice with the same energy and intensity. I told my mom that I saw a lot of my mannerisms in Nadine in how she acted and was really hard on herself...and my mom replied that she sees herself in Nadine's mom and can see how Nadine and I seem to act fairly similar. What I hope is that Nadine (as well as the other children involved in this musical) feel accepted and important. They all enjoy the parts and are all excited to do it so I suppose there's no worries about it.

This weekend is rehersals Friday-Wednesday. Then opening night is Thursday night and the show closes Saturday night. So starting the end of this week the children will be putting in the last bits of energy and then can be given their chance to show off. It's going to be great.

Since it is a Seussical Musical, all the children are dressed as Dr. Seuss characters...and the stage hands are dressed as Things. (see the story of the Cat and the Hat [Thing 1 and Thing 2]) So, I'm going to be dressed as Thing 1...and someone else will be Thing 2. I don't quite know who will, but it's gonna be fun.:)

Another thing that has happened in this long time frame has been that I have enrolled for Fall...and sure enough 6 units worth of classes weren't able to be added. The first apparently isn't being "offered."...and the second I can't take because apparently you can't take a class again which you've received a passing grade in. So..that means, no Creative Writing: Fiction. *sigh*

I hate to lose the workshopping environment, but apparently I can't take it.

So, by default (for those of you who remember my thread way back when) I will be taking Karate....which can only help me I suppose.

One other thing that has been going on is I have gone ahead and calculated my school enrollment and have discovered that if things go as planned...I will be out of Mt. SAC by next summer and hopefully onto University of California Riverside Creative Writing Department. How exciting is that? Very. How excited am I? Very much.

Anyway, that's all that's gone on in my life since my last blog. Hopefully you all are doing good as well. Take care!