• A Irishman was having a drink in a pub when he noticed a familiar looking man at the other end of the bar. The man had long hair and a beard like a hippie and was dressed in a sort of kaftan and sandals. All of a sudden the Irishman realised why he was so familiar.
    "Holy Jaysus!" he said "if it isn't the Lord himself!"
    So he beckoned to the barman and said "A pint of Guinness for Jaysus, there!"
    Shortly after, he was joined by an English friend. "Now who be that, down the end of the bar, would you say?" he asked his friend.
    "Good God!" said the Englishman "I believe it's Jesus!"
    So the English beckoned to the barman and ordered a pint of ale for Jesus.
    After a while they were joined by a friend from Australia.
    "So who would you say that is, at the end of the bar?" asked the Englishman.
    "Gawd'struth!" said the Aussie. "It's Jesus!"
    "Ay! " he said to the barman "Schooner of Foster's for me mate Jesus there!"
    So after Jesus had finished his drinks he came over to the Irishman, thanked him and shook his hand.
    "B'Jaysus!" said the Irishman. "If it isn't a miracle! My Rheumatism has gone completely!"
    Then Jesus thanked the Englishman and shook his hand.
    "Good God!" said the Englishman. "It's a miracle! My sinuses have completely cleared!"
    Jesus smiled and held out his hand to the Australian. The Australian backed off in alarm and said,
    "Don't you touch me, you do-good B*****d! I'm on Worker's Compensation!"