• Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to
    get married.

    They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a
    drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

    Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

    The pharmacist answers "Yes".

    Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

    Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

    Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

    Pharmacist: "All kinds."

    Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "

    Pharmacist: "Definitely."

    Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

    Pharmacist: "Of course."

    Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

    Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

    Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for
    Parkinson's disease?"

    Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

    Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

    Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

    Jacob says to the pharmacist:

    "We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please." `


    An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her
    Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.
    'Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a
    'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even
    taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'
    A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how
    things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'
    'What happened?' asks the doctor.
    'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was
    immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the
    same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love
    to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.'
    'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'
    "Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be
    able to show my face in McDonald's again.


    A woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man
    if he is still a virgin. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she
    decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who
    has lived his entire life in the Australian outback. They end up getting
    married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for
    the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband
    standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the
    room piled in one corner.
    "What happened?" she asks.
    "I've never been with a woman," he says, "but if it's anything like a
    kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get."
  • They were pretty good, I like the first one the best. :lol: NICE ONES!
  • Hey Fat_Jiffy, I found those quite funny! Keep up the work and mady you might win the next jokefest! :)