• The frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said:
    Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince,
    until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
    One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper,
    young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup
    housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare
    my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
    grateful and happy doing so.

    That night, while dining on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a
    white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and
    I don't fv(king think so.


    The Stutterer

    A guy who has a really bad stutter was walking down the street one day when he bumps into an old friend.

    "It's been a long time," says the friend, "What have you been up to?"

    " I a-a-almost got m-m-m-married," the man replies.

    "What do you mean almost?" the friend asks.

    "W-w-w-we were sitting on the p-p-porch, and the d-dog was s-s-scratching his back, and I said, 'H-h-honey, w-w-w-would y-y-you do that f-f-f-for me?' and she p-p-punched me out and l-l-left."

    "All you did was ask her to scratch your back? What's wrong with that?" inquired the friend.

    "W-w-well, by the time I g-g-g-got it out, he was l-l-licking his b-b-balls."
  • *chuckle*

    I liked the second one better than the first.
  • Good ones, I liked the second one better too!
  • I don't see the joke in the second one, that pickup line always works.