A Wee Joke. Memo From Osama!
  • Forgot I had this one. You might know it?

    To: All Al Queda Fighters

    > Internal Memo. Do not distribute outside the Organisation.

    > Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently. But we've really come together as a group, and I love that!

    >However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

    >First of all, while its good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave.
    We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue)- so we need to sweep the cave daily.
    I've done my bit on the cleaning rota....have you?
    I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the Halal toaster.)

    >Second, it's not often I make video addresses but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the World's population, okay? That means that while taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the "Wassup" thing. Thanks.

    >Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

    >Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidel's bat and ball games.
    Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

    >Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEY'S" on the group toilet wall? It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

    >Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse of the "Chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain" will not be accepted in future.
    (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

    >Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.
    First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

    >Love you lots,
    >Group hug.

    >PS- I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag! Cut it out, its not funny anymore.

  • "With donkeys, there is a gray area" :lol: :lol:

    Seems a shame someone can't put that jackass into a "gray area", weld the lid shut, and drop it in a hole.

  • "Hi guys"!?!?!?! HAHAHHAAAA!! Man, it started off funny and just got better and better!!! :lol:

    (just once I'd love to see a chicken back up to someone while relieving himself!! :blink: ..... over the edge of a cliff!)

    Osama's bed linen....... heh heh heh heh!!! :D
  • i thought that was pretty funny ......................................HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Very funny Bid.

    "The donkey backed into me while I was relieving myself."
  • Yeah, it always manages to get a smile outta me!!
    There are in fact three in total......I think?
    Wish I could claim to be the author, but unfortunately I can't, nor do I know who is??? :unsure:
  • Its osama Bin Laden of course! B) Very funny I laughed a bunch :lol: :lol: