One Sentence Story
  • I remember this thread from way back when and it caused a huge hilarious story. The basic concept is this: I start out with a sentance and as the posting goes on you add to it. The kick though is you are only allowed one sentance. No more and no less.

    Be Imaginative!
    Be Creative!
    Make Us Laugh!
    Make Us Cry!

    The first sentence is this:

    It was a big day for the meerkats.

    GO GO GO!! :clap:
  • As everyone knows, the meerkats have one day a year where they shave their bellies.
  • but this year the meercats had discovered waxing
  • When the meerkats began to wax they realized a little too late that it was made of acid from a mad scientist named Bolowabadingdong.
  • Bolowabadingdong was notorious for torturing leprechauns and once they went into hiding, he turned his attention towards the meerkats.
  • Apparently, Bolowabadingdong had the idea that meerkat tasted like chicken, and being such a busy fellow hadn't the time to off them before offering them.
  • When a customer stated that he preferred his food dead, he was pointed to the sign above the door that clearly stated "FAST FOOD".
  • And unfortunately for the poor meerkats, they were the days FAST FOOD special.
  • But one meerkat named "Wrinkle" refused to be subjugated and took up arms against Bolowabadingdong.
  • Bolowabadingdong thought this very interesting and figured if he could mutate the meerkats into having more arms then there would obviously be more meat....
  • And so he spent the next 3 years (minus time for bathroom breaks and checking his e-mail) locked in his lab attempting to bring his idea to fruition.
  • Unfortunately, after many years of searching, he couldnt find fruition and thusly couldnt bring his idea to him.
  • Now hopelessly insane, Bolowabadingdong believed the Meerkats divine, and worshipped them from the safety of his laboratory, while at the same time, plotting their deaths.
  • Wrinkels, finding himself in the position of leader of the pack of clean waxed, divine meerkats rose to the occasion and adressed the bowing Bolowabadingdong.



    (Congrats on post #1000 WB ! :) )
  • Wrinkle's acceptance speech of the position of leader of the meerkat clan was simply put as "let's get him"; sadly, none of the meerkats listened as they were too busy looking at their reflections in the skin of their waxed bellies
  • Suddenly a pack of Hyenas entered the restaurant demanding to be fed, which brought blowadingdong back to his meerkat cooking, culinary senses.
  • Bolowabadingdong decided that perhaps it would be best to just fry up a meerkat stir fry for the hungry hyenas, and began chopping up vegetables.
  • Such was his haste in the chopping due to the significant demands of the customers Bolowabadingdong accidently cut off the tops of his index and second fingers on his left hand and dropped them into the wok with the veg
  • Thusly Bolowabadingdong began to cry, and tears also fell into the wok, from the steam rose a genie named Wayne.
  • Wayne granted Blowadingdong one wish, which was to have someone to help him cook properly thus he was given a son called Blowadingding who secretly wanted the Meerkat Fast Food Restaurant for himself.

  • And within moments the battle lines were drawn and the conflict initiated, as Dad saw his new son sneak up behind him (reflected in the bottom of a saucepan) with murderous intent in his eyes and a meat cleaver in his right hand....
  • Bolowabadingdong turned to Blowadingdong and tried to play as dumbfounded as possible, asking, "Son, we save chopping the meerkats for the last step of the recipe; why don't you go entertain our hyena guests with your meat cleaver juggling?"
  • Though rumbled, Bloawadingding had a new plan brewing, he just needed a giant pot, a selection of vegetables, the genie (Wayne), oh and of course his father (Blowadingdong), so dinner could truly be served with his Father as Main Course :devilish:
  • Unfortunately, the only giant pots available were made by Buddhist monks in Tibet and they had been snowed in for the season so Blowadingding has to settle for a cast iron bathtub.
  • The main problem however, what this particular iron bathtub was enchanted, Blowadingding didnt know this as he began to heat the water...
  • Suddenly the Iron Bathtub turned into a Giant Oyster Shell which opened, revealing the Greek Goddess of Love, Aphrodite...
  • Aphrodite enchanted Blowadingdong at first with her stunning good looks, but as Blowadingdong began to speak he was interrupted by Aphrodite chastising him over not loving his father like he should.
  • This display of pure soppyness being displayed in the kitchen enraged the now starving customers (who unfortunately were able to see all through the kitchen hatch) and as one they went for Wayne, who just happened to be closest....
  • Wayne saw the Hyenas coming so he quickly disappeared inside his pan while Aphrodite gave them a kiss that completely made them forget why they came to the restaurant in the first place...
  • From the safety of his pan, Wayne gave a nod, a wink and a flick of his middle finger and turned the now dazed hyenas into fur coats, which littered the kitchen floor.
  • Upon seeing the coats blowadingdong and blowadingding had the same idea at once... open a fur coat store!
  • No sooner had the father son combo put the sign above the door on "Fur Real, Y'all" than Pamela Anderson was standing naked in the middle of the shop complaining that they were selling poor cuddly, warm, attractive....animal skins..............
  • Although taken aback by this sudden intrusion, Blowadingdong and his son, Blowadingding, soon came to their senses, picked up needles, and popped Pam's chest area sending her flying like a balloon with a puncture all the way over to China where SHE was now used as a skin coat...
  • In the midst of all this no one had noticed that Wrinkle had managed to guide the meerkats to safety outside.
  • Suddenly Wrinkle, whose body was like his namesake, saw a Dry Cleaners and decided it was about time he had ALL his creases ironed out...
  • Twinkle and Sprinkle, his top lieutenants, guarded the front entrance as Wrinkle entered the dry cleaners.
  • As the two top lieutenents guarded the front entrance to the dry cleaners, one courageous adolescent meerkat named Tinkle decided he would take on Bolowabadingdong and Blowadingdong by using distasteful public action.

    (btw, it's blowadingdong and bolowabadingdong right?)
  • As the father and son team were being attacked by the young twinkle, they realised it must be their strange names that made everyone so violent, therefore they changed their name to Bob Snr and Bob Jnr...
  • However, in a strange clerical error, it was the younger Bob that got to choose his name first and even tho he did choose to be Jnr, he Trademarked the name and everytime young Bob Jnr's Dad used the name, he had to hand over royalties to his greedy son.
  • Months went by until Bob Jnr received a strange letter through the post that stated that the name he had registered as a trademark was already registered and he owed the real Bob
  • And as those months rolled by, the meerkat clan also had produced some 300 odd soldier meerkats ready to fight the Bob Duo.
  • To up their Strength, the Meerkat Soldiers trained under Master Isagi (or whatever his name was) from the Karate Kid films, but they got sooo tired of Waxing On and Waxing Off that they killed him, drained and absorbed his life energy, then gradually turned themselves into Unstoppable Cyber-Meerkats with a new purpose in life to take over not only this planet, but the entire Universe...
  • (I'll carry on seeming as nobody else wants to)

    The two Bobs realised what had happened to the Meerkats, so they too decided to become Cyber-Warriors to battle the Cyber-Meerkat army so they could be declared Saviours Of The Universe and not have to pay any money that they owed for breach of copyrights and stuff...

  • The only problem was a defect in the technique caused the Cyber Bobs to urinate uncontrollably every time they looked at a meerkat.
  • This however was an oily residue that resulted from the cyber modifications. This residue had the bonus side effect of being extremely slippy for a meerkat (cyber or otherwise) to walk on.
  • Unfortunately for the Bobs this left a very easily tracked trail, letting the meerkats sneak up on them.
  • The meerkats snuck up one the Bob crew and as they were about to scream their perfect victory warcry, "MAHAGAGMEWITHASTICKBOBDIEADEATH!!"...
  • ...a freak Lightning storm suddenly appeared and shot down a fury of lightning bolts straight onto the sticks that the meerkats were holding up (which just happened to be metal rods) thus reprogramming the Cybermeerkats and turning them into very willing, and able, servants of the two cyberbobs.
  • Due also to the huge amount of electricity in the air after the lightining storm the cyberbobs firmware malfunctioned and as it was eprom chips used their data got confused and they could no longer tell who was father and who was son.

    This was going to get very interesting for Bob senior's trophy wife.........
  • Sooo...Bob seniors trophy wife, who was a scandinavian with Blonde hair, Blue eyes and was named Helga, decided she could finally have her pick of the two Bobs, but couldn't decide, well, how to decide who to choose, so she came up with the idea of...
  • The classical child's game of putting everyone's foot in and reciting the Ink a Bink a Bottle of Ink, but once she reached the end she was left with only her foot and so she had to invent another way; she decided to go with the old fashioned method of..
  • She decided to go with the old fashioned method of... a duel to the death between father and son using the only weapons available, trash can lids and garden rakes.
  • As the cyberBobs squared up to each other with their rakes and bin lids, Mrs Trophy Wife thought to herself that she really ought to move to a more upmarket neighbourhood, with...when suddenly her day dream was shattered as the cyberBob to her left grabbed...................
  • Trophy Wife's perfectly clean foot and used her as an extra weapon, hitting CyberBob 2 over and over until all his circuits short-circuited which caused him to...
  • Moonwalk whilst singing "Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain, and while all this was happening the meerkats huddled together to plan their final move code named "Bologna".
  • Unfortunately, there was a large percentage of the few remaining Meerkats that thought the word was Bolognese so they decided it was time to go eat...
  • While most of the Meerkats were dining, a handful of vegetarian Meerkats remained to commence with "Operation Bologna" which required the use of...
  • ...Italian footballers (soccer players). Afterall, they were fantastic divers so they could distract the enemy while the Cyber-Meerkats...
  • ...constructed a trebuchet. As the footballers booted heads of cabbage and rutabagas from 50 yards away, five meerkats snuck off to...
  • ...start their own little country as they had had enough of all this fighting. They drew up plans to create the perfect Utopia and almost had the place finished when something quite unexpected happened, they found an underground cavern full of every type of precious ore and jewels know to man and some never seen before so the Cyber-Meerkats decided to...
  • ...start their own little country as they had had enough of all this fighting. They drew up plans to create the perfect Utopia and almost had the place finished when something quite unexpected happened, they found an underground cavern full of every type of precious ore and jewels know to man and some never seen before so the Cyber-Meerkats decided to... [/b][/quote]
    complete the Utopia and open a massive Mall in the middle of the City of Meerkatsville (which they named their Utopian Paradise). The Cyber-Meerkats then used some of their new found wealth to downgrade themselves back into normal meerkats and then began to live happily ever after until the unexpected happened...

  • An unexpected egg rolled through their town, causing the meerkats to call upon their famous scientist buddy, Gad which was short for Gadget.
  • Gadget, although in the top 2% of the worlds smartest people, was one atom short of a molecule, so when he stated, in a matter of fact kinda way, that the egg was a dinosaur egg, nobody believed him...
  • If Gadget had got one minute longer to speak before being laughed at he would have said that the egg was about to open and that heating it would speed up the arrival of the baby dinasaur - (a veloci-sumfing he thought scratching his head as he walk back to his lab).

    But he didnt, and several of the meerkats, hungry after all the laughing decided to boil this massive egg.....
    :mellow:
  • Unable to wait for the egg to hard boil, the meerkats turned the heat up to maximum, which resulted in teh egg cracking and a cute little dinosaur popping it's head out.
    Unfortunately, the dinosaur was also VERY hungry...
  • The dinosaur began to run riot through the City of Meerkatsville. It tried to eat all the meerkats, but they had technology from three thousand years in the future so they managed to...
  • Throw massive amounts of wet towels at Dinosaur's nostrils, causing it to sneeze itself inside out.
  • Upon seeing the mess this made an arguement soon started as to who should clean it up.
  • Gadget, or Gad for short, turned up again and devised a way to solve the problem. He would build a specialist line of Meerkat robots that would clean everything up and do the general "yucky" tasks. However he needed some specialist materials which were...
  • called stinky clay and found only in the core of the sun.
  • So Gad finally had a chance to show off his Spaceship that he built called the UFP Meerkat which could handle heat equal to a thousand suns and could travel to the sun and back in thirty minutes.
    Now they just had the problem of who was going to fly the thing and collect the stinky clay from the center of the sun?
  • Village idiot BillyBob voluntered for the job. With nobody else willing to take on the responsibility BillyBob set sail for the sun.
  • Unfortunately, Billybob took a wrong turn at Mars and ended up heading back towards Uranus. Luckily, the seven year old super smart Janeyjill had stowed away on board and set about activating the automatic pilot that would reroute them back to the ships original course.
    However, she accidently activated the Super Mega Interstellar Wormhole Drive. Who knew where they would end up?
  • Thanks to Janeyjill, the Super WormHole Drive had actually been mislabelled and was the Simulation Gravity Switch which caused Billybob to no longer enjoy his anti gravity dancing and land flat on the big red button with his gravitated body.
  • The big red button turned out to be the End Of The Universe button. Gad never did quite understand why he added that button, but he soon got a shock when all his systems at home started saying, "Warning! Warning! This is NOT a drill! End Of The Universe has been initiated. I repeat this is not a drill!" Obviously, Gad was very distressed about this and went to speak to the Meerkat High Council (who were the people who decided how everyone lived) about what to do about the forthcoming universal disaster.
  • One enterprising young meerkat suggested that any solution to the problem was going to cost a fortune and at in order to fund such a project they should sell the TV rights to the End of the Universe to Fox.
    The High Council agreed so the young meerkat headed off to the Fox headquarters.

    The first question they asked was - "What is your name, young meerkat?...."
  • And the meerkat replied saying his name was Cuddles and began to plead with the Fox Network to save his colony so that they could get back to normal ways of life, back when all they did was dig.
  • The Fox Network agreed, but they said the only tool they can use to dig is a plastic spoon.
  • This, of course, confused the the young Meerkat who had always had trouble distinguishing the 2.5ml side of the plastic medicine spoons from the 5ml side, so he went and told the Meerkat High Council the deal who, in turn, decided that they should try to sell the rights to the USA Network to try to get a better deal or at least start a bidding war.
  • The Meerkat High Councel however, only started a complete disinterest from both parties and thus leaving the meerkat colony with the only other network available, Public Broadcasting System. They were allowed to only be on television if they agreed to work with the cast on Sesame Street.
  • Big Bird, however, was quite miffed at the idea of having to share the limelight with a bunch of "rats", so the meerkat's were left with only one chance, go speak to all the top ten richest people in the world to try and get a minimum of
  • Disney, however, took umbridge at the fact they had been ignored in the negotiations to televise the end of the universe AND the fact that one of their characters had been chosen as the new home for meerkats.

    Their head of Security, Mr Leavim S C Reaming, was issued with instructions to leave no meerkat alive, and he had access to the entire disney arsenal....
  • King Mickey was told to mobilize all the Disney characters and send them off in all their little Gummi Ships.
    When they got to the City of Meerkatsville they found the place deserted except for a giant crop circle shaped like a giant ice-cream cone...
  • Despite popular belief (among Disney characters) that the meerkats had abandoned them, the meerkats appeared from underneath the ice cream cone, though very skiddish in doing so.
  • They then started to pound the Disney army with Ice-creamballs (like snowballs) which made the Disney characters angry so they sent out their Hunger Soldiers who started to catch the ice-creamballs in their mouths and eat them.
  • The great Meerkat general summoned up his band of dogs, led by Mickey's faithful friend Pluto, to attack the hunger squad.
  • Mickey was stunned that his loyal pooch was on the oppositions side, so he had to think of a way to turn Pluto into some kind of double agent, "I know", thought Mickey, "I'll use a box Scooby Snacks to turn him".
  • Sadly for Mickey, Pluto wasn't swayed by his scooby snacks but rather Goofy's pet dog Lady whom was on the Disney side.
  • Unfortunately for Pluto, Tramp was also on the side of Disney, so another entirely seperate fight occurred between Pluto and Tramp for the affections of Lady who actually had her eye on the Science Meerkat Gadget (Gad for short). Whether it was due to love or she was just hungry, Gad wasn't entirely sure.
  • There was only one way to tell why Lady was enthralled with the Meerkat Man and so Gad took the honors of ordering a big hefty plate of speghetti and hoped that Lady loved him for him, not for his lovely cooking abililties.
  • So, Gad ordered the royal cook, Mariano, to prepare a plate of the best "meat-a-balls" he could find. Now was the moment of truth, the plate was placed in front of them and both the Meerkat and Disney armies stopped fighting and gazed over at Gad and Lady to see what would happen next...
  • Gad, his head full of romantic movies, picked up his fork and twirled up the longest piece of pasta he could find....unfortunately, Mariano had a drink problem and swapped all of the 3 foot spagetti for a bottle of Hennessy VSOP and only had pasta shells in the kitchen when Gad ordered the meal to be made...
  • Luckily, Gad had the local Chinese Take-Away on speed dial and, after ordering Sweet & Sour Chicken, Prawn Toast, Egg Fried Rice and a bottle of new Coke Zero, Gad sang his favourite song, "she'll be coming round the mountain", to Lady who joined in. 15 minutes later, and after about 10 repeats of "she'll be coming round the mountain", the food finally arrived with a pair of Fortune Cookies as a little extra freebie.
  • Gad cracked open his cookie after the pair devoured the feed.

    "the end is nigh" was written on the paper - bugger thought Gad, the world was doomed and he still wasnt getting any action....
    so he asked Lady what her cookie said - she started crying and dropped the paper, hanging her head to hide her tears

    "you are not getting any younger and if you dont watch it you will be left on the shelf" the cookie proclaimed......
  • Just then, Gad remembered the Enchanted Wok from the two Bobs' Restaurant.
    He just happened to have it with him in his bag that he had "borrowed" from Merlin allowing him to store anything and everything in it.
    So he pulled out the Wok, started to heat it with a gas stove (that he just so happened to have inside Merlin's bag), and then he put Lady's head above the Wok so her tears would fall into it.
    Once again, steam rose from the Wok, created by her tears, and thus Wayne (the genie) reappeared.

    "What are your 3 wishes, Master Gad?", asked Wayne.
    "I can grant anything apart from the following three things:
    1. I cannot force someone to love you.
    2. I cannot kill anyone.
    3. I cannot bring anyone back from the dead.
    "

    Gad replied...
  • I think i want... ... "Ah, world peace? Oh! And make the hunger soldiers soo hungry that they eat their own gummi ships and make them loose their mouths afterwards! That'll get 'em."
  • The genie granted the wish of the servant and he watched as the mouths fell simotaniously to the ground, but yet once they hit the ground they began forming their own infantry.
  • the mouths began marching towards the servant and whilst in the process of gumming him to dead one of them accidently gnawed on another....everything stopped....the mouths began to back away from the servant....and as if someone flicked a switch they attacked each other.
  • King Mickey ordered that there be a stop to all this mess and he decided he'd better suit up in his sorceror's apparel.
  • Unfortunately the light bulb was blown in the changing room so he couldn't see what outfit he had actualy grabbed- when he stepped out Mickey was dressed in a Little Bo Peep costume.
  • This immediately annoyed Bo peep who had just turned up to help bring peace, so she immediately ordered Buzz and Woody, with the help of Slinky and Mr. Potato Head, to go kick the C*** out of Mickey and take control of his fleet of Gummi ships.
    Bo Peep didn't count on the Royal Magician Donald and the Royal Head of the Guard Goofy, though...

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