Life Gets Ya Hard
  • A new blog entry has been added:

    [drupal=204]Life Gets Ya Hard[/drupal]

    My Dear Friends at API,First and foremost, I'd like to say thank you to all you who gave me strength to see this whole situation in perspective...a very big perspective. You guys crossed your fingers with me and held your breath with me so I feel it's something you deserve to know. I'm already violating my sister and I's pact we made..but like I said, I feel those of you who expressed concern deserve to know.
  • I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for ya Mel, likewise I'm sure that goes for everyboddy else.

    I agree with what your friend said though, if she's still having contact with him then maybe it's not totally over? I'd give a while, like you said you will, and, if she's still having regular contact with him, then I'm afraid you'll have to break your promise and tell your parents.
    Give about a minimum of 2 weeks to a month though to sort it out herself, ok? It's difficult to just stop loving someone, even if they have been abused by that someone.

    I know there are prob people that will disagree with me on that bit, possibly even you, but if she's told you then that's the first step. If she'd denied everything and still stayed with him properly, then that would've been different. Telling you everything, however, at least shows she knows what he did is wrong and that she won't stand for it any longer.

    Anyway, keep up the good work, supporting your sis, and, if need be, we'll support you so you're not alone.


  • You will be doing the right thing by violating that promise- if she says it's over but then tells him she loves him it isn't over. These sort of relationships never end well without a good deal of counselling on both sides- the sooner she realizes this the sooner she will tell him to get help or leave her alone.
  • I'm sorry to hear this Mel. It's unfortunate and both of you are suffering because of it. You know you always have our support and if you ever need an ear, we'll always listen.

    I agree that counselling could be considered but in my experience, a permanent parting is best. The problem with these type of relationships is once there has been abuse, the abuser is always "sorry" and "promises" it'll never happen again. The victim wants so much to believe this, they are willing to return. That establishes a pattern of abuse and forgiveness that becomes harder to break. The idea that "It only happened this one time..." rarely turns out to be the case.

    I've seen it happen to a close, dear friend and it took drastic measures to break that chain. Physical or emotional abuse is not love, no matter what they say. I think you should follow your heart and do what you think is best for your sister and your family.