A Day at the Zoo...
  • A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a
    loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual
    jeans and t-shirt.

    As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large,
    silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went
    crazy. He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he
    grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited
    by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

    The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He
    suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and
    wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely
    excited, now making noises that would wake the dead.

    Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to
    show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the
    bars down!

    "Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.
    This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and
    charging the bars!

    Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage,
    flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "Now, tell
    him you have a headache AND U ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW .
  • Good joke, not totally funny, but true in a way I suppose.

    By the way ladies...no longer can you use a headache as an excuse not to "do it" as "doing it" actually releases er endorphines is it? that actually has been proven to "cure" a headache.

    Sorry, but you can't argue with Science! ;)
  • HAHAHAHAA!! Jason....As right as you are, at least wait till I make some friends on here before you bring the new guy down with your ship man. I saw that "A few for the guys" one you posted.
  • NecroshineX said:
    ...I saw that "A few for the guys" one you posted.

    Excuse me? Hold on their a second. That sooo was not me who posted that list of jokes.
    Don't get me into trouble with the ladies around here, they make Agent 47, Alistair (or whatever his name is from Assasin's Creed) and Darth Vader look like 2 year olds who constantly cry. That's how er, how do i say this diplomatically?, deadly they can be.

    You have been warned!

    So, as I said before, please don't get me into trouble. I like to be the one sitting on the fence, lol.

    Anyway, what I said before on the thread was Scientific Truth. I can't get blamed for Science, so there :p lol
  • Oh wow... HAHAHAHHA Sorry about that. That was Chris. HAHAHAHHA!!! Apologies.
  • You rang? Hey Necro... Don't let Jason fool you. The ladies around here are all sweethearts. :hug: They also know how to take a joke.

    Just cuz he's scared of 'em doesn't mean you have to be!;)
  • Chris S STAFF said:
    ...Just cuz he's scared of 'em doesn't mean you have to be!;)

    What Chris fails to mention is that I personally saw what the "sweethearts" did to that delivery bloke who accidently delivered White Chocolate for the cocolate fountain instead of milk chocolate.

    I tell you, I haven't seen him since.
    I'm sure I saw his face on the side of a milk carton :confused: Although the "sweethearts" insisted it wasn't him and told me to "forget about it". You know, in the way a member of the Mob would tell you to forget about the fact you just saw them kill someone and dump the body in a rug into the local river.
    So please forgive me if I don't feel 100% safe around them :eek:
  • Yep, i'm sure it will be a matter of time before I get my spank'n around here. I'll fit right in.
  • NecroshineX said:
    Yep, i'm sure it will be a matter of time before I get my spank'n around here. I'll fit right in.

    Spanking? I'm sorry but you've come to the wrong place for that sort of thing. Maybe try two streets over. Chris told me that, and I quote, "...some interesting things go on in that place."
    Now don't ask me what he was on about when he said that, but spanking could be a possibility as, everytime he comes back here after being there, he can't seem to sit down properly without one of those rubber rings to sit on.
    Very strange if you ask me :confused:
  • Oh us girls don't flirt THAT much.;)

    At least from my experience I didn't tease anyone and then kill them with "I've got a headache." I've been nice enough to say "I have a headache" from the get go.;)
  • Melinda S STAFF said:
    Oh us girls don't flirt THAT much.;)

    At least from my experience I didn't tease anyone and then kill them with "I've got a headache." I've been nice enough to say "I have a headache" from the get go.;)


    :o WHAT??? You girls dont flirt that much??!! <<laughs so hard, he falls out of his chair>> That is bull and you know it, Mel. ESPECIALLY you Calli girls. Its funny, and no. i'm not conceded but ever since I got married last month, I get hit on more so than before I was married. It sucks. lol
  • a man's wife dies in israel the undertaker says we can bury her here for 150.00 or you can take her home for 15000.00 then man say he'll pay 15000 the undertaker asks why the man replies 2000 years ago a man died then came back to life a few days later im not taking that chance.

    sorry didnt lock my computer joes just got a kickin for it not my jokes.