Embarassing Moments
  • Apparently true embarrassing stories... even if they're not true they're still funny. Enjoy.

    Here are some people who wish they could turn back time...

    While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now"she would be punished..

    To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
    threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

    -------------------------------------------------
    A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

    -------------------------------------------------
    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
    three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

    ---------------------------------------------
    This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
    before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get
    any....a
    true story...We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed
    to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob,
    where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
    leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

    ---------------------------------------
    I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
    asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

    ---------------------------------------
    I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
    unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
    several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
    ----------------------------------------

    My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
    variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
    ---------------------------------------

  • HAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Those ones sure did give me a good laugh!!!!! :lol:

    Reminds me of a time not too long ago, when I was at the grocery store with my son. I was checking out "Gas-X" and such products and he asked me "Is that for when you have your 'PPLLLLLLFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT' problems!?" The lady who I didn't realize was behind me got a good chuckle out of that one! :blink:

    (remind me to smack him again when he gets up in the morning!) :lol:
  • I got one, I got one.
    This one was given to me by an american economics teacher.

    He had just moved to Sweden and it was winter so he had to go shopping for some long underwear.
    Along with him he brought his wife and her mum for some reason.
    In the store he couldn't find his size in long underwear, wich was size six.
    Now you gotta remember that six in swedish is sex, and sex in swedish is sex too. OK.
    So his mother in law keeps telling him to go with a pair that's a size too small and his wife, aware of his habits tried to pursuade him into buying size seven.
    The guy then, very irritaded and tierd of the situation stands up and yells
    I must have sex*
    and of course the whole store takes a good look at him so that they can warn their neighbours about the crazy man.


    * Translated from Swedish with an american accent.
  • Very nice. I enjoyed all of those, and was able to create some fair visuals. :D

  • Why don't you share some visuals with us WB!? ;)
    now wait, that didn't come out sounding right!
    :lol:
  • lol, the best is the news anchor one :D
  • Those are really well put together. I told my friend the anchor lady one and she laughed. I think I will put a few of those as away messages. :P
  • I sure hope YOU weren't the newslady. But those sure were crackers. I'll have to show them to my parents and they'll sure have a blast.
  • Originally posted by Forger@Apr 4 2003, 01:51 AM
    I sure hope YOU weren't the newslady.

    You kidding?! I wouldn't say something that weird on television.
  • the most emberising moment was when i tried to do a back flip in karaty and fell then my sensei said go to gymnastics if ya wanna flip
  • This is a 100% true story from Gid's own past.


    When I was still young and at school (many moons ago)
  • God these are hiliarous keep these coming I cant stop laughing :blink: :o :lol:
  • Gid I know you like to play the modest mod but really. If I had an incident that embarrasing then I'd certainly remember every sordid little detail (I'd remember it even better if it was someone nearby which leads me to guess that Gid was the lad who spoke out and that the topic was related in some way to sex. Tell me if I'm right gid or are you too ashamed cause I definately think you're hiding something) to tell to you lot cause at least someone would get a laugh out of it. Even if I didn't. Oh and the reason I said that I hoped Rex WASN'T the female newscaster was because if I did something like that on live tv and I happened to live in that state then I wouldn't dare show my face anywhere around there ever again. I'd have to move somewhere else. But eh geez Rex even if you weren't the female newscaster you've still had quite a run of embarrassing moments so maybe you'd better move town and possibly even state.

  • HAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!!!! Rex as the FEMALE newscaster!!!!!! :lol:
    Shave those legs!!!!!!

    Forger, Rex is a guy!! :D
  • OOps I thought that those were some of Rex's own stories. Sorry if I offended you rex but ya gotta admit that the way you told those stories made it sound like you were the lady in question although I'm guessing that you were simply around those certain people when the incidents happened. Hmmm I wonder if my mother has any similarly embarrasing stories about me. I think I'll ask her and if she does then you all will be the first to recieve them. Come to think of it you should DEFINATELY expect a reply within a few days since what parent worth their salt wouldn't have any embarrasing dtories about their children. That sparks off another idea about speedie as I'm sure she'll have a few stories to tell about her children so I hope she'll share them since we're all so gracious as to share ours.
  • Those were sent to me via e-mail, before that they were in an issue of Cosmo.

    Those are not my own stories. I have never done any of those things, I have never kissed a nuts or asked someone how much someone they charge for a... well all of them except for one. ;)

  • Alright Rex, now you've got me curious..... which one!?!?!? :lol:

    Forger, while I have no problems sharing my own embarassing experiences, I'd rather not share any about my son. That would be sort of disrespectful of his privacy... and he's sort of sensitive about stuff like that. I know I know, I sound totally PC, but that's the breaks, get over it! :P

    I'll think of some more of my own stories though and will be glad to share them!!! :D
  • Originally posted by Rex77@Apr 8 2003, 05:56 PM
    [b]or asked someone how much someone they charge for a... well all of them except for one. ;) [/b]

    Alright Rex, now you've got me curious..... which one!?!?!? [/b]


    Now that I have put it in black and white for ya (and a little bit of purple, just for you ;) ) Now can you guess?

  • Heh heh heh, that's the one I thought, but with you ya just never know... had to be sure!! :P :lol:

    Oh, finally thought of one!!

    Recently our neighborhood was hit with a rash of mailbox breaking and house egging. (not nice!!) A sherrif was making rounds in the neighborhood, visiting all the homes that had been hit. Unbeknownst to me, ours was one of them. ( I slept through the whole thing!) He came 'round about 8:30 in the morning, when I was just getting up and hadn't even brushed my hair yet. I have this sleep shirt that I wear (and was wearing at the time) that has a pic of a 'body' on it, wearing a bikini that has red chilli peppers on it! (front is the front of the body, back is the back of the body)..... Heh heh heh..... that wasn't bad enough in itself, but when I sat down at the table, I wanted to cover up my shorts, so I pulled the (rather long) shirt down over my knees, and begun to swing my feet (yes, I'm short!! When I sit at the table, my feet don't reach the floor!)...... So there I was, swinging my little feet, and wondering what that look was all about on the Sherrif's face. I glanced down and noticed that, with the action of my legs swinging to and fro, the shirt's 'tummy' was swaying in and out!!! HAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!!! He tried soooooo hard to maintain that professional demeaner, but he ended up chuckling anyway!! :lol:
  • LOL, some very funny sss...tuff there, keep em coming everyone!