If Microsoft Made Your Car
  • For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would
    have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine OFF!

  • Good Lord Rex, don't give Billy-Boy there any ideas!!!

    Sheeesh, we could all be driving along when suddenly we see a big message across our windshields:

    WARNING: The fact that you are driving your vehicle is now being broadcast all over the country, and you are suseptible to having your vehicle stolen!! And we'd have to 'click' the power button on our radios to get the darned thing to go away!! :lol:
  • You funniest thing would have to be that everybody would ber fine with that.
    Isn't that sick, that we allow companys to produce products that hardly work a day without some kind of failure and just keeps on buying them !?! :o
  • If Microsoft made my car it probably wouldnt work to begin with
  • I don't drive!

    But i would love to do a drive-by on Bill Gates!!
  • Oh god, that had me grinning. ^.^. Then again, I'm a Microshaft hater, so yay me. ;)
  • Oh god, that would be a nightmare. :D
  • Good thing Microsoft sticks to the computer industry...
  • Originally posted by Rex77@Feb 7 2003, 10:59 PM
    we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon

    ............and you all know where Microsoft would make all the real money $$$$ from?

    Add-on/Extras packages and After Care/Customer Support!

    What do they charge now per minute? $5, $10, $20?

    I got sent a nice office listing to post. But it's a bit naughty if taken the wrong way. PM for details
  • yeh there would be more charges like tireplace download