How do our member view sex?

Is sex merely an act or is it something only to be shared with the one who you will be spending the rest of your life with?

Sex is an act of the utmost trust between to people. Sex is an act of love but, I don't think that you necessarily need to love someone to have sex with them.

Sex can be soft and gentle and also the exact opposite all the while enjoying every minute of it. All in all, sex should be fun.

I did have a lot more ideas to put into this post but I think that I will hold them back for a bit to see what fellow mature members have to say.

This is to be a mature discussion on sex.

Any member who starts pressuring a fellow member on their personal sex life or makes any crude/rude or vulgar posts will result in this topic being locked by myself, end of story. Please don't ruin this for mature members who would like to have a mature discussion on this topic.

This is not about our sex lives. This is about sex in general.

i bleave sex is something 2 married people should do (man/woman man/man woman/woman) and if you go off haveing sex w/ other ppl that you are not married to then that's a sin and it's so wrong.

Sex is only dirty if you're doing it right.

I believe thatsex is completely overrated. I don't need to exchange bodily fluids with the person I choose to be with to prove a GDT. It's fine when it does occur, but it's not a driving force in my life any longer, ike when I was dumb, young and full of c**. Having someone to share the ups and downs of what life is all about is much more important than momentary satisfaction. Sharing a prescious engagement with the one you truly love is groovy, but other than that there are other fish to fry on the platter of life.

Sex is pleasure.
Sex is an instinct hard to resist.
Sex is second to money the most powerful force on earth.

I don't really know how to respond to this without getting personal. Guess I could go buy some book by madonna or something.
Sex can be so many things.
It can be a way of getting gratification on many levels.
Some use it on a purely physical level
Some need it to be ceratain of that their partner feel love and lust for them
Some use it just like any other hobby
Some are obsessed beacuse they aren't getting any
Some are obsessed beacuse they are getting too much of it

I belive that you don't necesseraly have to have sex all the time in order to make a marriage work. But if one part wants to and the other doesn't it is hard.

I've lived all these rolls
I've regreted much but enjoyed more
My sex life is now good, casual and good.
Thank you, good night and sleep tight

I think that everybody should be having a lot more SAFE SEX rather than trying to pretend that we could do without it.

Just look at the people in Amsterdam, Netherlands. I've had plenty of freinds that have lived there and one guy told me that every weekend men and women would visit the brothels (sp?) and "releive there stress". Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't Amsterdam have the lowest crime rate in all of Europe per capa.? And isn't sex the best way to relieve (sp?) stress? I know it is for me.

So I say that sex is just a normal thing that any two people (and in some cases more) should be doing as long as you protect yourself properly. While on the subject why not make prostitution leagl as well, I mean if the girls or guys don't care on the morals on it why not the governments can make killings.

Sex is a natural act and instinct. The ideal sexual relationship is shared between 2 people that share a bond that is beyond the relm of just lust, but the fact of the matter is, that only describes a small percentage of the population.

My personal views. Sex does not happen in a relationship I am in unless I have formed bonds in other aspects of the relationship. As luck would have it, now that I am engaged...well :P

Ain't that the truth - LMAO!!


Sex to me conjures up a wide range of feelings and views.

‘Good’ sex can simply mean what physically feels good at the time, or relate to a whole lot more.

Over the years one of the things I have learnt is that ‘sex’ is different with different people (and no I’m not talking about dressing up in giant chicken costumes etc. Rex may like that sort of thing, but it ain't my bag ).

People kiss in different ways, even though the mechanics of the situation are the same. It’s the same sort of thing with sex. It’s always different with different people even though the actual ‘mechanics’ may remain the same.

Of course, you can have ‘bad’ (by the term bad, I mean disappointing) sexual experiences and you can have ‘good’ sexual experiences – it’s the same as every other aspect of life.


Considering that the happily married ‘nuclear’ family is somewhat of a minority these days, to restrict sex as being appropriate solely between happily married people is a concept not only outdated in modern society, but also a bit silly IMHO.

Sex is good, it’s not some form of wicked sin. It is completely natural and part of ‘life’.


To those people who think that sex is only ‘right’ between 2 married people who love each other – what happens if the relationships ends (as unfortunately, the majority of relationships do)? Do you then have to wait until you are married again before you have sex? Or do you simply never have sex again?


To me, there are 3 different types of sexual intercourse.

There’s f*ing, there’s having sex and then there’s making love.

F*ing is a one night (or one afternoon ) stand. You meet a person, you are sexually attracted to them (or drunk), they are to you and so you get together for a few hours for a bit of fun.

Having sex is when you actually have some sort of feeling for somebody other than purely lust.

Making love is when you are emotionally as well as physically ‘into’ someone.

Note you can still just f* somebody even if you are emotionally attached to them, which makes the whole sex thing in general rather complicated to define (the above is just the way I personally look at it).

Unfortunately a lot of people’s ‘first time’ are crap (for whatever reason).

More people regret the way in which they lost their virginity than think it was sweet.

Fortunately I lost my virginity with a girl who was also a virgin and I ended up going out with for 18 months. It was all candlelight and ‘right’, but it was still crap. The mood, the surroundings and the intentions on both parts were ‘optimum’, but it was still crap.

Maybe we were both too nervous, maybe this, maybe that, but all the circumstances were ‘right’ and yet the actual sex was crap. Sex did get better as time went on (much, much, much better – Gid types with a very big smile on his face!).

The only thing I know is I’ve been in what I class as ‘serious’ monogamous(ish) relationships and I’ve also gone through times where I have slept with several different women in a week. I’ve also had times where I haven’t had sex for quite a while.

The ‘best sex’ has generally been in the ‘relationships’ because there’s something other than the purely physical going on.

However I have had 1 night / day stands where the sex has been incredible compared with that of some ‘relationship’ sex.

Not all sex is going to be fantastic and magical, just as not all ‘brief encounters’ are sordid and wrong.


Sometimes sex can bring you much closer to a person and be very spiritual, other times it’s the same as having a cup of tea – you just felt like one at the time!

Statistically (in the Western world) something like 60 % of all modern marriages break up within 5 years. If you only believe in sex within marriage, then role the dice and cross your fingers because the chances of the marriage lasting and the sex being great is probably less than 10% at best.

Sex can be spiritual with someone you love, but if your hoping for sex to be ‘spiritual’ all the time even within a relationship that will last forever (and the vast majority of relationships don’t), then you better be prepared for a disappointment.


If you’re going to have sex outside of a long-term relationship, then remember the words of Uncle Gid with respect to condoms:

If it ain’t on, it ain’t in

Safe sex isn’t just about making sure her boyfriend doesn’t find out

I totally agree with you Steve. Minus the chicken costume part, the only reason you seen me with it was because you left it at Madame Lola's.

Sex is such a strong thing that it can 'cause your weakest moments, why do you think there are so many unwanted pregnancies?

Sex is very different with different people, because every person is different.

I have no problems with those who want to wait 'til after marriage. But I want to try the 'food' before I buy it.

Deciding when to have sex for the first time is one of the biggest personal decisions one has to make. Are you ready to remember this person for this for the rest of your life?

I don't think that I have ever heard someone say that their first time was great. Sure it may have been at the time but as you have more sex you realize that it could have been so much better. I know that my first time was not the greatest. But that was a long time ago and I have learned a lot since then.

Basically having sex for the first time is like driving for the first time. You know where everything goes and how to do it your just not very confident yet. The more "driving" you do the better you get.

This sounds like the car that the Bobbitts were driving these past 10 years......

heres a verry interesting story when i was young i had a girlfriend who ...shortly after sex said she had the nerves cut in her you know what by her abusive father when she was young and thet she couldnt feel anything well i noticed from looking in her face she wasent into it and i really lost it but i didnt know that during our first incounter and i promiced to stay with her and care for her chiald without sex if only she would never cheat on me and we had a plitonick relationship and i moved her to my house when i was 21 years old and she was 18 i have a big soul and care alot but i told her in detail thet she would cheat on me and in detail how when and where and eaven discribed the serounding area to a place we had never ben before and she said she would never doo such a thing and when we were locating to a diferent house she did everything as i had pridicted and as i was standing in the place where everything came to pass i was so stuned to have it all come to pass exactly as i had forceen it with all the detail exactly as it apeared and it took me sooo long to walk from there i felt like part of my soul was stolen and what should have ben a 15 minut walk took 2 hours then as a good friend of mine who manages a hotel in bakersfield came to me and opened my door abought a week later and let her in my room i couldnt eaven look at her and felt nothing for her if she was sexual i may have understood maby but the fact thet i loved her soo much thet i went impotent for her broke me.

he he he

It all depends on the individuals. If sex is with a loved one/spouse, then the emotional aspect of sex is accompanied by the "fun" of sex.

If it is purely for the sexual act alone, it can take on a whole new "meaning".

In any case, as long as those involved are of mature mind and mental capacity, sex is not "dirty" nor a moral sin; but a natural part of life that is to be enjoyed and experienced by those who wish to do so based upon thier wants and needs.

Er, REX.
I sort thought that it wasn't as much a personal decision as a mutual one

I would have to agree with both Gid and manneman

its something that two (or more!) people want at the same time.

it can be 4 ways (masturbation is still sex), but even that fourth way can be very enjoyable when done with a partner.

The animal, hungry sex - (Gid's "f***ing") is raw, wanton and rapid - can be absolutely intense and gratifying - but at the same time totally uninvolving and uncaring

the "planned" sex - this is the one where you have thought about it first - you know your partner witll be waiting and you have thoughts in your head of what is going to happen, now usually these wont all materialise but you have given forethought to it and you have some knowledge of your partners needs/desires etc in order to gratify both of you.

making love - this is one that needs two people to be in harmony - not necessairly finishing each others sentences (cause i would have to kill them for that ) but knowing each other - this only comes from spending a great deal of time with a partner and you do not plan what happens, it just sort of does....
Only this type can include the other 3 types

earlier i mentioned more than two - take if from me - if you are offered this dont turn it down (unless you are currently in a serious relationship) - but never ever ever spend more than a week in this sort of "Relationship" - it goes very wrong very quick and at the start you can never see what way it will turn -

every time is different - because you are different and the other person is different - maybe a different person, or just different due to experinces or even a crap day at work!

when I lost my virginity i was 17 - it was ok - but it was on a friday night and we had the entire weekend to perfect it . we went on a "classic" date and then home chatting until about 3 am before it all got passionate - and now i am 29 and if i had carved the traditional notch in the bed post i would be sleeping on the floor now ....

....these days i wish that i hadnt done the wild casual sex thing - because i have always tried to put a bit of me (other than the obvious) in to every relationship i had - even if it only lasted a few hours - and now i feel that was a part of my soul wasted - but i suppose thats what you get when you are the sort of person that shags a bird in a nightclub without the two ever sharing a word, never mind a kiss!

and here is the other thing - until i met this beautiful girl that i wake up thinking of (have i got it bad or what) i had never been out with a girl for more than 4 months - i have been seeing B for 18 months now....

Yes it is a mutual decision but before that you have to make the decision whether or not you want to do it.