Never get in an argument about politics with a canadian they always go on the defensive.... eace:

Sunday:
1 - When drinking a soft drink out of a tin make sure there are no bees in it the next time you take a sip.

2 - A bee sting on a newly pierced tongue really hurts.

Some months: Don't start smoking after giving up for 12 years, it's even harder to stop the second time.

From my son: Monday: When playing baseball at school and sliding into home plate, :rebel: ...remember you aren't in the major leagues and not getting paid millions a year... and then you won't break your Fibula and Growth Plate in your ankle... cuz if you do (like he did) then it's six weeks in a cast.

When running for office, only kiss the babies who are old enough to vote.

3 weeks ago, early Sunday morning: when playing around with the software on your PC to try and play really old PC games, do not panic when you restart your machine and nothing happens. Do not automatically think that what you did to the software affected the hardware. Do not spend several hours searching Google to find out what is wrong with your machine. After a few hours of snatched, restless sleep, do not get up and feel that as a penance, you have to clean the insides and outsides of all your kitchen cupboards. Do not stand on a chair in the middle of your kitchen, rubber gloves on and bleach cleaner in hand, crying like a girl.

Do remember that you had problems with your motherboard and CPU previously. Do wait for your other half to consult a friend with a degree in computer science for their comments. Do allow said friend to take PC away and find out that the motherboard has fried, purely by coincidence. Do make sure that you find the time to walk the couple of miles to the PC store to replace said motherboard.

BTW, the fried motherboard in a frame makes for an interesting conversation piece, art wise.

never run if see a dog even a pet dog

If run OUCH(in the hospitle)

Nice one Vegeta, could you be any more vague?

Several Saturday's Ago: When changing diaper on newborn and it would appear that he is going to fart, do not remove the diaper just for good measure. Far less messy that way when he :stink: 's instead of farting.

<span style="color:red">Sunday: When practicing enunciation excersises(spelling?) do not act like the cream of the crop and then get on the stage to practice a skit and slur your words together. "The Lasagna" is hard to say without slurring, but I made the mistake of acting like a hotshot before I said the line and then just prooved myself wrong.</span>

Monday: Do not try and catch a football while running backwards in a place with bushes. :feedme:

don't ever try outsmart your parents



Get grounded for 1 week.
No T.V for 1 week.
No computer for 5 days.
No psone for 1 1/2 week.

Monday – When working in a supermarket on the shop floor do not constantly keep singing “day is never finished……………master got me working………………someday master set me free.. (a la Cartman).

Some wishy washy bleeding heart liberal PC lets ruin everybody’s fun brigade member might take it up themselves to complain to a store manager and you may just end up getting a bollocking.


Some people just can’t see the funny side of anything…………….

Monday: never under estimate the power of the lamp, I left my sock near the lamp and it started to get a little hot and smelly, so as you can figure my first instinct was to move it, so i did, I just pushed it on the floor (the sock that is) and went out.
Later on that day I came back home only to find out that my lamp had fallen off right next to my sock and my room absolutely reeked, very bad, so anyway later that day I tried to make my room smell nice again with a selection off anti-persperents I wont even go there.
Tuesday: my room smells really bad now and I dont know what to do about it Dont make the same mistake as I did. :stink: :stink: :stink:

Oh Steve, I want alllll the lyrics and tune to that song!!!
I'll memorize it all, and sing it myself while at work!!
I'm sure that'll go over big time with the Boss Man! :shy:

Some people just need a good extra-large wrench upside the head for a little attitude adjustment!!

Tuesday evening - When "rough-housing" with the new puppy, do not leave certain areas of the human anatomy unprotected from accidental playful bites unless you're training him to be an attack dog!

When on a driving lesson, remember the difference between left and right, and the accelerator and brake (my bad!)

When not coming straight home after golf as promised and the fiancee hunts you down in a stripper bar, after the argument escalates and she slaps you, under no circumstance say " is that all ya got, why don't you throw the weight in your a** into it next time". It WILL result in a bloody nose and public humiliation!! :doh:

When changing the filter for the swimming pool, do not assume that just because the pump isn't running to circulate the water that gravity still doesn't play into things. If the hoses aren't closed you end up with one hell of a fountain right in the face and 20 -30 gallons of water lost in an instant. :2cool:

When the girls want to spend the night at grandmas, don't let grandma borrow the movie Dazed And Confused. You will have a lot of questions posed when they come home which are touchy subjects to deal with coming from a 5 and 9 year old. :think:

When talking to someone and walking, make sure you look in front of you, not at the person. Otherwise the wrath of other people, poles and walls come into play. :doh:

When talking to girls, do not talk to them when there are people such as LI around... you will pay for it for weeks to come.

When in class or walking around, do not ridicule the teacher when they are in earshot (happened to Sophie...now that was funny). Especially when that teacher is the mother of your friend (I just hope that she forgot...I really do).