Sunday: When camping make sure to find a windbreak when pitching your tents so that 35 mph gusts don't ruin your outing.

Monday: When your German Shepard who weighs 75 lbs has her leash wrapped around your ankle, don't throw her favorite ball!!! :think:

Last wednesday:When trying to soften the fall of a falling home appliance box (with the appliance still in it) do not do so with you're leg.

Om jag bara kunde skratta åt dig.

Tuesday: When removing all children from car seats and booster chairs, ensure you have the car keys in your pocket - not on the floor of the van - prior to locking the doors. :doh:

When you are "taking your imagination" to a further level when drawing, never underestimate your little Cousins "imagination".

OK – these obviously didn’t all happen in one week (cus that would have been a seriously bad week, but they are all 100% Gid’s very own experiences):

Monday - When you have just split up from your girlfriend, try and remember what her sister looks like so that you do not inadvertently start chatting her up in a nightclub (with the ex standing right behind you).

Tuesday - Do not get completely wasted on a ferry 12 hours before you are participating in an international Karate tournament abroad.

Wednesday - Under no circumstances is it ‘fun’ to insert bananas into the exhaust of a police car as they pull up to traffic lights.

Thursday - Do not insert lit air bomb / banger type fireworks into a glass milk bottle and then play ‘pass the parcel’ amongst a small group of you to see whose nerve goes first and throws the bottle

Friday - When first starting to date a new women do not try and cheer them up (if they appear a bit down) by making them watch Dennis Leary’s No Cure for Cancer if one of their parents has died from cancer only a few weeks previous. [SIZE=2](How the fook was I supposed to know?)[/SIZE]

Saturday - When sleeping with someone always try not to A – forget their name; B – call them by somebody else’s name. Doing so can often spoil the mood.

Sunday - When visiting the country of Germany, do not walk around whistling the tune from Dambusters and saying “achtung! – papers Englander schnell, schnell” at every conceivable moment – particularly if within earshot of the local police force.

Wednesday: If you plan to preform the collected works of Wagner in the evening and intend to use your behind as the only form of instrument, it might be a good idea to eat 2 pounds of dough (the kind with yeast in it) for lunch. If not, it might be a bad idea

-[SIZE=2]phfffuuiiiiiiiprprprprprrrrrrrr[/SIZE]

Wednesday : Make mental note that when ever Gideon comes to California.. take a week of vacation off and go party with that man!!!! :lol: Bananas!! I gotta try that one!

Thursday: When dropping anchor to go fishing... make sure anchor is securly tied to boat or practice your drift fishing.

Wednesday: Dont take shots at trees in your back yard with wooden arrows sometimes they bouce back.

Thursday: Try not to get caught playing mini - putt at school.

Thursday: Laugh when you think about when people go to the movies with their gf/bf and dont chose a theatre were the drink holders/ armrests dont "go out of the way". hehe

Back to Sunday, when trying to break camp in a hideous wind, do not curse God. For some unexplainable reason my middle finger has developed an aching pain. I'm not religeous but I kid you not!

Ah, that reminds me.
wednesday 1988: Try and avoid shooting glasfibre arrorrow with steel head straight up into the sky. Chanses are you end up with a crushed toenail.

Thursday: If trying to mend the pains of having 2 ponds of dough swelling in your stomach by drinking Vodka, don't be surpriced if the pain has magically moved one floor up during the night.

This didn't happen to me but I was *very* close when it happened...:cunning:

Thursday...When you go to traffic court and lose for an 82 MPH speeding ticket... do not get up and punch some poor guy in the front row of the court room because you will quickly learn what "contempt of court" means. :woot:

Thursday:

After showering, do not EVER, under any circumstances, prop your foot up on the edge of the tub to dry off your leg!!!!!!
(refer to "what's going on in your life" for details) :cry:

Thursday Afternoon: When being called to assist the ambulance for Susan's house for a medical call... take dark sunglasses and never laugh directly at the patient. :shy:

Monday morning - when tipping the 45 gal. drum back to roll it off the truck, check first to see if it's empty or full before putting all your energy into it.
Monday morning earlier- when resetting your alarm clock after power outage, make sure you don't switch around AM and PM, enabling you to show up for work on time.

Friday Night: When running over a snake at work with the forklift, try to aim for the head as they get very upset when you only get the tip of their tail! :fight: