A man was in a bar, staring at his drink when a big trouble making gangster came in the bar.... He took the poor man's drink and gulped it all down. The man starts to cry. Feeling sorry for him, the gangster asks the man "i hate seeing a man cry, whats wrong?" The man replies "i had the worst day of my life. My boss fired me today for having an xbox8). I went to the car lot but my car was stolen, i went home to find my wife sleeping with my best friend... On my way to the bar i got robbed. And then, you come in to drink my poison.... Please send your own jokes

A man walks into a doctor's office to get his test results; the doctor says "I'm afraid you're dying".

"DYING?!?" the man screams. "How long do I have to live?!?"

"I'm afraid it's... ten," replies the doctor.

"Ten... Ten what?" asks the man, "Ten days; ten years? How much time do I have left?"

The doctor looks at the man solemnly. "Nine... eight... seven..."

a man comes up to the meanest looking bartender ever, "wanna make a bet?" the man asks, slurring his speech badly. "you see that drink glass at the other end of the bar?" bartender knods. "well i bet you $100 that i can pee in that glass from here withou spilling a drop" "you're on" bartender says. guy whips it out and pees everywhere, all over the bar, and all over the bartender. the bartender's laughing as he takes the guy's money, "what possessed you to make such a stupid bet?" guy looks at him, suddenly sober, "i bet that guy over there $500 that i could pee all over you and make you laugh about it"