First grade class comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?"
Alice says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess.
Billy says, "I played with Alice in sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Billy does, and gets a cookie.


Teacher then asks Mustaffa Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

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So---there was this woman who had a problem with silent gas and she went to the doctor and she said,

"This is so embarrassing. I have this problem of farting silently. You probably haven't noticed, but I've let three of them since I've been in this office with you. Is there ANYTHING you can do?"

He said, "Yes, but the first thing is to get you fitted for a hearing aid."

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Confusious Says

•Man walking through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

•Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

•Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

•Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!

•Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.

•Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

•Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

•Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.

•Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

•Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

•Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

•Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

•He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

•Elevator smell different to midget.

Elevator smell different to midget......that ain't right! :lol: :lol:

You got me again, buddy. That hearing aid joke had me gigglin' for minutes.

Heh heh heh, "blatant racial discrimination"...... HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! (can I have my cookie now!?) :P

Thank you Lu, I needed these!!!

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The nurse walked into the exam room to tell the Dr. that he had a phone call when she saw WreckinBall bent over with his pants down around his knees, and the Dr. was telling WB, "No, I want to hear your HEART!!
:lol:

(must be related to that woman! heheeeheheheee :P )

About time you posted some joke Lu, i was starting to forget how to laugh. Glad to see your return to the stage.

Thanks for a bright start to my day. Waking to a laugh as opposed to the bills is always a great start.

L33t, that was preety funny, you made my day.

Haha those confusious ones were awesome. Thanks for the giggles Lu