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| Jokes, Trivia and Entertainment Jokes, Trivia and Entertainment (Be advised some content may not be suitable for younger readers) |
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#1
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| Well, I suppose I am gonna start out with a couple that might be a little cliche to the internet community if you read some of the funnies that are out there on the net. I really enjoyed this one... "Do you work at UPS?" And usually the girl will reply with a No and you can follow it up with " 'cuz I could have sworn you were checking out my package!" Another one to get you a good punch in the face is "Hey baby why don't you bring your software over to my house and we'll try it on my hardware!" Now that I have started the cheezball fest let us all rejoice and continue! -SS eace: |
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#2
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| The best one ever... "If its true that you are what you eat, then I could be you in the morning." |
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#3
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| A couple more... Are you from Venus? again usually a no answer, c'uz your behind is out of this world! and Are you a traffic ticket? ... because you've got FINE written all over you! -SS eace: |
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#4
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| I've got 1! Can I borrow your phone, because god is looking for his missing angel and she just happends to be standing next to me. ali-g7 unk:" class="inlineimg" /> unk:" class="inlineimg" /> unk:" class="inlineimg" /> |
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#5
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| If you get a really cold response the you can respond " No problem , I had to go and have a crap anyway " |
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#6
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| dang dees are heck o' funny :woot: :woot: :woot: |
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#7
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| <span style="color:red">"You make me feel like there's something wrong with my pants." "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?" "Come over here hunny and sit on Santa's lap and we'll talk about whatever pops up." "That's a nice blouse you have there, it'll look nice on the floor next to my bed." "If I followed you home...would you keep me?" "Did it hurt?" Girl replies "Did what hurt?".."When you fell down from Heaven." "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?" "Have you seen my library card, cuz I'm'a checking you out!" Those are the only ones I can remember off the top of my head.</span> |
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#8
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| I likes the posts even the one from my Arch nemesis in the av awards! Heh, lets see if we can't keep them coming!!! -SS eace: |
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#9
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| How about: You are one of those that get more beautiful every day and today, you look like tomorrow.................. Not the best but pretty good. :drool: |
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#10
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| Then, there's always the line from the old song, "If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" And the ever popular "Excuse me, you have something hanging out of your nose." (works like a charm!!) Oh yeah, and the "Pardon my staring, but you look just like my 4th husband!" when asked how many times you've been married, you say "Three". All I can think of at the moment. |
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#11
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| Your daddy must have been a rich guy to afford those diamonds in your eyes... Shame there isn't a smilie for a big pile of CHEESE ![]() |
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#12
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| why do these keep getting funnyer ????? :swear: :swear: :fight: |
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#13
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| I REALLY like this one: "let me try the horizontal line test on you" this one's kinda funny: "yes that's a natural log in my pants." and theres always: "Are u tired" and the girl would probably say "Why?" and then "cuz youve been running through my mind all day." |
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#14
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| How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried, scrambled or fertilised? That is such a bad one, but it has been used and found to be successful. My personal favourite, before I got ed up wasCould I just pretend I know you for a few minutes so that creep over there will get the message and leave me alone? although I might not have been so polite... :lol: |
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#15
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| I really don't recommend this one, it didn't seem to work. I actually watched a person in my bar sit down next to a young lady and ask "Can I smell your feet?" She looked horrified and replied "NO" He then smiled and said " Oh I'm sorry it must be your p :swear: y" Don't try this one at home! |
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#16
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| Uh... some of these are becoming just wrong! I said goofy!!! Goofy goofy goofy... okay inuendos are cool, but raunchy ain't no good!!! sheesh some people! -SS eace: |
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#17
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| "Those cloths would look good on the floor" |
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#18
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| Quote:
Copycat. |
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#19
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| "Is it really hot in here, or is it just you?" :drool: |
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#20
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| How about the two buddies at the club and the one says to the other " No! You're supposed to put the sausage in front." |
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#21
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| RedKennypup2004: I think you said one about a blouse! And I have another one... I better call god and tell him he is missing an angel! I got that off The Simpsons! |
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#22
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| Quote:
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#23
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| I heard mine off "The Simpsons" and it is in different words. and names start with capitals! J/K! |