Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged.
She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I hate bumper stickers.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Why is ’abbreviation’ such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
All generalizations are false.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Forget the Joneses, I’m keeping up with the Simpsons.
Born free... Taxed to death.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
I brake for no apparent reason.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Wink, I’ll do the rest.
No radio - Already stolen.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Tell me to ’stuff it’ - I’m a taxidermist.
IRS (American Tax System): We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
When it rains cats and dogs, don’t step in a poodle.
Welcome to Florida, now go home.
Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
If money could talk, it would say good-bye!
If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Who cares who’s on board?
Honk if you’re illiterate!
Fight crime, shoot back!
Give Blood. Play Hockey
Too hot to go to church? How about hell?
Keep honking I’m reloading
I don’t suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it!
Why am I the only one on the planet who knows how to drive?
If it’s not a baby, you’re not pregnant.
Don’t follow me, I’m lost too!!
My wife left me because of this car.
Sanity is thinking in the box, insanity is broadining your horizions.
Beauty is only skin deep; but ugliness is to the bone!
If you are living like there is no Hell you better be right.
My son beat up your honor student
My child beet up your honor student.
If get any closer, you'll need a tinopener!
Warning, Driver just doesn't care anymore!
If you can read this, you can see my shotgun too!
If you readings this, GET OFF MY TAIL!
I am having a bad day, you on my tail is making it worse!
I am the boss, just don't tell my wife that!
I've hit rock-bottom, now I've got a broken back!
My life flashed before my eyes! Wow, I was boring!
Dorothy: Hate Oz. Took the shoes. Find your own way home. --Toto
The cops won't touch me, I own the Donut Shop!
I got this car for my husband - pretty good swap hey!!
This car isn't my piece of trash, my dad loaned it to me.
I belive in the BIG BANG theory, God said bang and it happened.
Sorry about my driving, I'm used to marching in the band.
Go ahead, I'll catch you at the next light.
Thanks for honking but I've got a ride.

horn broken-watch for finger

Close your eyes.Non-funny thread ahead.

i got one i heard of "punks not dead 2-pac is" unk:" class="inlineimg" />

u do alot of poetry are u a poet or something

On the bumper of a 4x4.........


"Don't try follow me, you won't make it"

The one inmy car is


'Heaven wont have me and hell is afraid i'll take over'

Another good one I've seen which isn't a bumper sticker but attaches to the same spot is the Jesus fish with two little legs with the name Darwin inside.