The Never-ending Story
  • Ok, I'll explain what to do first.

    I'll just give an example what to do.

    Tony walks into a store and A. looks around
    B. Starts talking to the clerk
    C. jumps up and down.


    The next person would pick either "A, B or C" and then continue the story. You can have more than 3 options if you want and you can also have 2. If the mods think that this topic will be too much trouble of have too much spam, go ahead and lock it. I'm just adding a little game.

    I'll start.

    Tony walks down the street and A. meets his friend
    B. falls down a man-hole
    C. sees a crime
  • Interesting. I'll bite.....



    Tony walks down the street, meets a friend, and sees a crime.

    Tony....
    A. Runs to find a cop to report the crime
    B. Goes into superhero mode and wrestles the criminal
    to the ground.
    C. Runs away screaming like a schoolgirl


    Like that?
  • Great idea for a thread Tony, I have mixed feelings on the multiple choice 'though, but that's just me, I've always been against restrictions on creativity. But then again, I don't really care, caring is for people who care.

    Anyway, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.

    The cop behind the counter...
    A. Tells Tony to calm down and explain what has happend.
    B. Begins to type Tonys statement on an invisible typewriter
    C. Is getting high
    D. Is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen
  • Alrighty then,

    Tony sees a crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop shop around the corner and runs in. The cop behind the counter is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

    Tony now,

    1) Has an 'accident' ;)
    2) Has trouble speaking clearly
    3) Tells the beautiful cop exactly what happened
    4) Asks to speak to a Moderator so they may delete or edit the crime that he just witnessed
  • Tony sees a crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop shop around the corner and runs in. The cop behind the counter is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony has trouble speaking clearly so the woman:

    A) thinks its a joke
    B asks another cop for assistance
    C) understands him perfectly because that sort of thing happens all the time
  • Tony sees a crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony has trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides he has to resort to drastic measures, he:

    A ) picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down.
    B ) points outside to where the crime scene is
    C ) pulls up another police and tells him the crime to transfer to the female cop.
  • Tony sees a crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony has trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides he has to resort to drastic measures, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling:

    A ) the pencil breaks
    B ) he starts to giggle
    C ) he begins to sweat profusely
    D ) his thoughts start to wander
  • Tony sees a crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony has trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides he has to resort to drastic measures, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to...

    A ) Cry
    B ) Wet himself
    C ) Go outside and handle the crime himself
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to:

    A ) Console him
    B ) Ask him to leave the station
    C ) Walk out of the room and get the cheif "Big Bubba" to handle this situation
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to

    a) go home and cook some pasta
    B) get P*ssed
    c) ask out Tony
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then asks/tells "Big Bubba:"

    A ) He's not my type
    B ) He's not cute
    C ) What does that have to do with the crime?
    D ) I'm taken
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then asks/tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by:

    A ) the manager of the hardware store across the street
    B ) the bum in the county jail
    C ) King Triton from Little Mermaid
    D ) Hugh Hefner
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony:

    A ) is pacing the floor furiously
    B ) nervously picks his nose
    C ) stares at his feet as he's whimpering
    D ) screams "The hardware store manager?"
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony is nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks him mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to:

    A ) Shoo Tony out of the station.
    B ) Quit bothering the cop.
    C ) Go get a donut
    D ) Pick his nose as well.
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself:

    A ) out on the street in front of the station
    B ) wrestling on the floor with "Big Bubba"
    C ) pleading with the beautiful cop for help
    D ) "flipping the birdie", which happens to have a booger on it
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to:

    A ) go back into the station and try again
    B ) deal with the crime himself
    C ) walk away and forget the whole thing
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway and Tony:

    A ) walks down the hall to figure out what going on.
    B ) scratches his head
    C ) becomes sad that his playboy cop is gone
    D ) gives up on trying to get anywhere in the cop station.
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on.

    A ) Following a trail of donut crumbs he discovers...
    B ) Creeping like a ninja he discovers...
    C ) Skipping like a school kid he discovers...
    D ) Shaking like a coward he discovers...
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says:

    A: "Hey kid, want a leg!?"

    B: "What the H3ll do you want!?"

    C: "Dessert is served!"

    D: "Pork! The other white meat!" :drool:

    (note: this is a pretty cool idea for a story, I like it a lot!! )
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to:

    A ) Run to the next adjacent cop shop
    B ) Join in on the "buffet"
    C ) ignore Big Bubba and continue down the hall.
    D ) challenge Big Bubba to a duel as to who gets the lower portion of the female cop.
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks:

    A ) Big Bubba
    B ) The pretty cop (uneaten w/o any bite marks)
    C ) Tony's mother
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for...

    A ) tearing the tag off her mattress
    B ) construction without a permit
    C ) Munchausen by Proxy
    D ) a crime just committed by the cop shop across from the hardware store
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for...tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime! She may either:

    A: be trampled in a 'running with the bulls' outing
    B: be eaten by Big Bubba
    C: have to eat Rex's cooking
    or
    D: be stuck watching Late Night with David Letterman to death.
    :blink:
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for...tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime! He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is:

    A ) Chili
    B ) Spaghetti (with unknown ingredients that crunch...)
    C ) A cake (made with Rex's special ingredients...which are unknown...)
    D ) Sloppy Joes
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for...tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from..

    A ) the "accident" I had awhile ago.
    B ) a drunk's urine sample
    C ) some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways
    D ) soil
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was

    A ) a secret map showing an underground escape route
    B ) a lockpick set and a can of mace
    C ) a stick of dynamite and some matches
    D ) a metal file and a loaded 9mm pistol

  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she

    A: sprayed them with the can of mace
    B: sprayed one of them with the mace, and forked
    the other one in the eyes
    C: forked them both in the eyes and snorted some of the
    mace for 'entertainment purposes'.
    D: offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus <_< ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was..<br />
    A ) Barney the purple dinosaur
    B ) Plucky Duck from Tiny Toon Adventures
    C ) Alice from Alice in Wonderland
    D ) Rex (complete with a flowing cape)
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to:

    A ) Lock all three of them up
    B ) Lock up Barney
    C ) Lock up Tony and his mom
    D ) Ask Barney for his autograph
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them ...

    A ) steal a police car
    B ) hail a taxi
    C ) panhandle for bus fare
    D ) carjack a little old lady
    E ) jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika)
  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned put in a...

    A- hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika
    B- crushing hug from the 30 Stone police officer who happens to be a fan of Barney
    C- two footed football tackle from Vinnie Jones attempting to beat his record breaking send-off of 4 seconds
    D- large mug of tea provided by Delia Smith, who is also extracting his kidneys at the same time
  • hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge wich is strangley enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were...

    A. Playing twister on gold Starwars edition of monopoly board using a compass as a spinner (for some reason it always landed on right hand red wich was rather strange...)
    B. Shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's
    C. Speaking in tongues and rolling around on the floor whilst growing scales

  • Tony sees the crime, goes to find a cop, sees the cop station around the corner and runs in to find out the cop is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge wich is strangley enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and.......

    A: Sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB guns

    B: Made to be the King and Queen of Tanganyika

    C: Taken into the public town square where all heros are stoned to death (the Tanganyikans HATE heros!)

    D: Lead on foot around the town square wearing nothing but chocolate pudding for three days (as is the Tanganyikan way to hail heros).

    (Pssssst, LI, you may want to notice that, the way to continue the story is to first copy and paste the whole story up to the point where you make your choice, then continue on from there..... you forgot the first part! :doh: ) :peace:
  • *SORRY BOUT THE MISTAKE SUZ! Oh yeah and I altered the story correctly at the start*

    Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge wich is strangley enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and Sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinto was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...

    A. Receives an invirtation to play the new "Cousin It" on the new series of "The Adams Family: Boot Camp"

    B.Gets sued for copyright violation

    C.Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun"

    D. Gets Pashed

  • Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge wich is strangley enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and Sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinton was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun".
    He grabs Lavigne by the hand and they run down the street to escape the pelting BB's. On and on they run, until finally they see that they've nearly lost their persuers, so they start to look for somewhere to hide.
    They turn into the first door they see, and it turns out to be....

    A: The original Cop Shop, where there are dead bodies and gore everywhere.

    B: The second cop shop, where Melinda escaped from (BTW, that name is based on a co-worker. I know the :rules:)

    C: Tony's home, where he and Melinda are sitting down to a big chicken dinner.

    D: Barney's home.
  • Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge which is strangely enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinton was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun".
    He grabs Lavigne by the hand and they run down the street to escape the pelting BB's. On and on they run, until finally they see that they've nearly lost their persuers, so they start to look for somewhere to hide.
    They turn into the first door they see, and it turns out to be Tony's home, where he and Melinda are sitting down to a big chicken dinner. Apparently Tony and his mother Melinda escaped Tanganyika in all the confusion by selling Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow feathers to a black market trader in exchange for safe passage home. Tony promptly says ...
    A ) "My Hero Barney would still be alive today if it wasn't for you!"
    B ) "We owe you our lives since you killed that Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow!"
    C ) "Democrats and Skate Punks aren't welcome at my dinner table"
    D ) "Would you like a leg or a breast?"
  • Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge which is strangely enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinton was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun".
    He grabs Lavigne by the hand and they run down the street to escape the pelting BB's. On and on they run, until finally they see that they've nearly lost their persuers, so they start to look for somewhere to hide.
    They turn into the first door they see, and it turns out to be Tony's home, where he and Melinda are sitting down to a big chicken dinner. Apparently Tony and his mother Melinda escaped Tanganyika in all the confusion by selling Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow feathers to a black market trader in exchange for safe passage home. Tony promptly says ...Would you like a leg or a breast? Minutes later the four are sitting at the table eating happily, clinton with his two giant breasts and lavigne with two smaller ones. :lol: They engage in a perplexing conversation over dinner about body hair and its uses including building replica Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow nests for exibition the National gallery of Tanganyika. Just as they are finishing the Lead Surgeon from the local Justsawitoffe Hostpial Dr. I. N. Jection walks in with...

    A.Barneys head on a pitchfork

    B.Monica Lewinski

    C.Avril Lavignes identical twin

    D.A chainsaw
  • Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge which is strangely enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinton was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun".
    He grabs Lavigne by the hand and they run down the street to escape the pelting BB's. On and on they run, until finally they see that they've nearly lost their persuers, so they start to look for somewhere to hide.
    They turn into the first door they see, and it turns out to be Tony's home, where he and Melinda are sitting down to a big chicken dinner. Apparently Tony and his mother Melinda escaped Tanganyika in all the confusion by selling Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow feathers to a black market trader in exchange for safe passage home. Tony promptly says ...Would you like a leg or a breast? Minutes later the four are sitting at the table eating happily, clinton with his two giant breasts and lavigne with two smaller ones. They engage in a perplexing conversation over dinner about body hair and its uses including building replica Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow nests for exibition the National gallery of Tanganyika. Just as they are finishing the Lead Surgeon from the local Justsawitoffe Hostpial Dr. I. N. Jection walks in with a chainsaw. A certain voice rings from deep down inside Tony's stomach cried three simple words...they were..

    A ) Eat His Shorts
    B ) Fight the Urge
    C ) Ease His Pain
    D ) I love Him
  • Tony walks down the street, and sees a crime, after seeing this activity of the criminal persuasions,goes to find a cop, Tony runs to find a cop and it just so happens that there was a cop shop just around the corner.The cop behind the counter is the hottest girl Tony has ever seen. Tony had trouble speaking clearly and the cop thinks its a joke. Tony decides to resort to drastic measure, he picks up a pencil and paper and begins writing the crime down. As he's scribbling the pencil breaks in his hand. Tony begins to cry, and the cop gets up to walk out of the room and get the chief "Big Bubba" to handle this situation, who tells her to ask Tony out. The cop then tells "Big Bubba" that she is taken by the manager of the hardware store across the street. Meanwhile Tony nervously picks his nose and when the cop sees this she says to "Big Bubba", "How can I like a guy who picks his mucus?" Big Bubba rolls his eyes and decides to shoo Tony out of the station. Suddenly Tony finds himself out on the street in front of the station. He looks around and sees the crime still going on. Tony decides to go back into the station and try again. When he walks into the cop station he finds that there are no cops in sight, not even the pretty one. There is a ghostly moan from the hallway. Tony scratches his head and walks down the hall to figure out what's going on....

    Skipping like a school kid he discovers that almost all the cops are strewn about the floor in a grisly heap, blood and guts all over the place. The only ones that remained 'alive' were Big Bubba and his now 'dinner'. Bubba was chowing down on the pretty cop, and all that remained of her left lower limb were the toes that were sticking prettily out of Bubba's mouth.
    Never having learned that it's impolite to talk with his mouth full, he turns to Tony and says, "What the H-three-double hockey stick do you want!?"
    Tony stutters. He feels a sudden urge to run to the next adjacent cop shop. It takes Tony a little less than half an hour to arrive at the new cop shop. He has trouble breathing due to the long run and is about to give up hope on stopping the crime when in walks Tony's mother. Unfortunately she's handcuffed and being escorted by a uniformed officer and a man wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses. The uniformed officer says "This woman is under arrest for tearing the tag off her mattress. As we all know, this crime is punishable by death of the most attrocious way! Tony, you may choose how your mother is going to pay for her heinous crime!" He sentences mother to have to eat Rex's cooking (*shudders*). Rex's specialty food for the death penalty is a cake (made with Rex's special ingredients which are unknown). Upon the sentence being said, the cop calls in Rex who is dressed for his mess, which consists of a stolen apron that says I was on Martha Stewart. Rex holds out his cake and displays it with a corny smile on his face. "It's my own secret recipe...it's mostly made from some of Susan's burnt cookies that were throw aways with icing made from a drunk's urine sample. Rex winks at Tony's mother as he hands her the cake. Left alone in the holding cell, Tony's mother slowing bites into the cake and discovers that Rex made a mistake. He accidently gave her the cake he baked for his own mother, who happens to be in an adjacent cell. Inside the cake was a lockpick set and a can of mace. It was really big can of mace too!!

    Now, as Tony's Mom (whose name is Melinda) just so happens to be a retired Green Beret, she'd paid close attention to how she got into that holding cell, so she picked that lock and started to make her way out to safety, taking with her the fork she was to have used to eat that miserable cake, along with her giant-sized can of mace.
    Upon meeting two of her captors in the hallway, she offered them both snorts from the can of mace, then locked them both up in her holding cell.

    Tony was so confused, he didn't know what to do as his mother Melinda(how dare you use that name for that purpose Sus ) or Susan as some liked to call her, made her way out of the cell. Tony sat in the cell wishing for something good to happen in the day for once. Just then, a crash came from the top of the roof of the cell (which was made of straw anyway because they were in jail in Tanganyika) and a hero stood before them. Tony's eyes glazed as he gazed into his hero's eyes. His hero was Barney the purple dinosaur.

    Now Barney had only one heroic savoir before. (and that was on accident...) Since Barney is a big purple oaf, the three of them (Tony, Tony's mom, and Barney) were spotted right away by (can you believe it) more cops. The cops decide to ask Barney for his autograph. You see, one cop loved dinosaurs, one cop loved purple, and the rest just went along with peer pressure. While Barney was distracting the cops, Tony and Melinda, or Susan as some liked to call her, escaped! Out in front of the precinct the two of them jump on donkeys (the preferred mode of travel in Tanganyika), and advance down the dusty road strewn with blood and guts. "Nooooo...."Screams Barney in a final anguished cry behind them, "Go to Cario and take the..." His final words are drowned out in a hail of bullets from a sub machine gun carried an enthuiasic skateboarding American teenager who happens to skateboard in Tanganyika, this particualar skateboarder just happened to be the pop sensation Avril Lavigne! The cops pull her over on their donkies but unfortunately it was a 12 and 1/2 hour pursuit due to the speed of Lavignes skateboard, too bad they didnt get off and walk! Luckily the sk8r girl could not cross the Tanganyika Internatinal Bridge and make it across the border into THE MATRIX!!! this was due to the tropical rainfall isolated soley over the bridge which is strangely enough made out of cheese, and beaver cheese none the less. Even though it was attacked regularily by rats infected by the black pluage that passed into our time through a portal located in the middle of a "exotic dancing" club in the West of Tanganyika. The cheese is very cheap! None the less lavigne was apprehended and taken to the precinct of North, North, South, West, South, East Tanganyika thats on the East side... she was locked up in the presidential suite/cell with ex president Bill Clinton who was busy sewing a rug made entirely out of his own body hair. Before too long Lavigne and Clinton were shooting at rare birds on the fire escape using a B.B gun clinton made out of his own body hair and using lavignes fingernails as BB's.
    One of the rare birds they hit was a Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow, one of the only three left in the world. Fortunately, it was one of the two females left, and they had been fighting each other for the favours of the last remaining male. This settling the squabble, the one remaining female and the last male flew into each others wings in mid-air, over the city and collided together in a great crash!! It turns out these birds were as big as mountains!

    Since the two had finally settled the dispute between the feuding females and had finally gotten the male 'together' with a female to mate so they could perpetuate the species, Clinton and Lavigne were hailed as heros!!

    The were released from their cell and sent home in a private jumbo jet to continue their business of Clinton Hair BB gun, but there was a dillemma! It seemed that Clinton began to run out of body hair, and without Clinton body hair the magic of the BB guns is lost forever, luckily Miss avril lavigne had a stroke of genius! She proceeded to remove a lock of her head hair and fuse it onto clintons chest with an oxy torch and a nail gun. Even though it almost killed Clinton, it worked! Now 7 months later Clinton has grown an immense amount of long dark brown Avril Lavigne body hair! The pair once again began building the BB guns and after a few months had enough hair to have the factory going 24 hours a day 7 days a week! Now they were really bringing in the cash and Hairy Arse X Mr President BB guns and action figures were the most popular childrens toys on the market! On an outing together to the local theater Clinton was spotted by the producer of the series of "The Adams Family" and...Gets pelted by a mass of BB's by the producers custom made "Hairy Arse Adams Family Producer BB gun".
    He grabs Lavigne by the hand and they run down the street to escape the pelting BB's. On and on they run, until finally they see that they've nearly lost their persuers, so they start to look for somewhere to hide.
    They turn into the first door they see, and it turns out to be Tony's home, where he and Melinda are sitting down to a big chicken dinner. Apparently Tony and his mother Melinda escaped Tanganyika in all the confusion by selling Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow feathers to a black market trader in exchange for safe passage home. Tony promptly says ...Would you like a leg or a breast? Minutes later the four are sitting at the table eating happily, clinton with his two giant breasts and lavigne with two smaller ones. They engage in a perplexing conversation over dinner about body hair and its uses including building replica Norwegian Toe-Backed Yellow-Beaked Hornswallow nests for exibition the National gallery of Tanganyika. Just as they are finishing the Lead Surgeon from the local Justsawitoffe Hostpial Dr. I. N. Jection walks in with a chainsaw. A certain voice rings from deep down inside Tony's stomach cried three simple words...they were..
    fight the urge to not think about it ,it happens, its painfull ,now its done all he can think about is the



    (A)pain
    (B)the docter