A few for the guys (sexist alert)
  • WARNING: The following content may not be suitable for younger readers or the inferior sex. :p (This ought to get some comments)
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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told

    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.

    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

    Bring it on, ladies...
  • Chris S STAFF said:
    WARNING: The following content may not be suitable for younger readers or the inferior sex. :p (This ought to get some comments)...

    You are like sooo asking for it Chris.
    I ain't sticking around when the you-know-what hits the fan.
    Sorry, but I like my anatomy as it is. I don't want anything chopping or ripping off :o

    (As I like my health as is, I in no way condone these kind of remarks. The case of them being funny is neither here nor there :mellow:)

    Jay
    Site Squad
    (A guy who doesn't want a woman's wrath!)
  • ooooooooooooooooooo who is getting a brave boy eh??
  • Jason F Staff said:
    You are like sooo asking for it Chris.
    Daily
    Jason F Staff said:
    I ain't sticking around when the you-know-what hits the fan.
    Typical
    Jason F Staff said:
    Sorry, but I like my anatomy as it is.
    Missing
    Jason F Staff said:
    I don't want anything chopping or ripping off
    :eek:

    Jason F Staff said:
    (As I like my health as is, I in no way condone these kind of remarks. The case of them being funny is neither here nor there :mellow:)
    Jay
    Site Squad
    (A guy who doesn't want a woman's wrath!)


    Jay - Way to support your gender! I can hear the whips cracking now....:rolleyes:


    Jane N STAFF said:
    ooooooooooooooooooo who is getting a brave boy eh??


    I expected more of a fight from you, Jane! :boxing:
  • Chris S STAFF said:
    ...Jay - Way to support your gender! I can hear the whips cracking now....:rolleyes:...

    It's not a case of not supporting my gender, it's more a case of survival.

    I wouldn't dive into a pit of cobras just because there was ONE Spanish Dabloon Coin...
  • Jason F Staff said:
    I wouldn't dive into a pit of cobras just because there was ONE Spanish Dabloon Coin...


    Me either... I'd make my wife go get it! :p
  • Chris S STAFF said:
    Me either... I'd make my wife go get it! :p

    Yep...sooo asking for trouble :laugh:
  • These might be even more abhorrent and offensive, but I refer to the previously posted disclaimer, and ARE NOT reflective of my personal beliefs nor do I condone the appalling and hateful behaviors mentioned below. I only mention them because shock humor is sometimes enjoyable by it's shockingly awful content. Have I ruined the jokes?


    Q. How many misogynists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. None. Let the b@#$h cook in the dark.

    Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    A. Nothing. She's already been told twice
  • Ah boys, you make me giggle. You guys claim through jokes that we are the inferior sex and yet, who is always the one who is portrayed as stupid in commercials?

    Cue Carl's Jr.'s tagline:
    "Without us, some guys would starve."

    I know that's a horrible comeback, but give me a few days. Once PMS comes on I'll be more vicious.;)
  • I hope my PMS wont be coming for a few months yet :p - Only time will tll


    Its a shame we need men for one thing at least!!
  • Jane N STAFF said:
    Its a shame we need men for one thing at least!!


    Yeah, but they like it.
  • So do we!! ;) lol